Letter of wishes: what it is and how to write one

What is a letter of wishes?

A letter of wishes is a personal letter from you to the people who will deal with your estate. It sits beside your will, not inside it, and explains the things a will isn't built for: why you made certain choices, how you'd like something handled, and the small details only you know.

It's sometimes called a memorandum of wishes. Your will does the legal work: it appoints your executor, gives away your property and names guardians for your children. The letter helps those people use the choices the will gives them well.

Is a letter of wishes legally binding?

No. A will is binding because it's made with the formalities the law requires: in writing, signed by you and witnessed by two people present at the same time (for example, Succession Act 2006 (NSW) s 6 and Wills Act 1997 (Vic) s 7). A letter of wishes isn't made that way and isn't meant to be.

Your executor or trustees can take your letter into account, and most will try hard to follow it. But they don't have to, and nobody can enforce it against them.

Keep it clearly non-binding for another reason too. Courts in every state can accept an informal document as a will if satisfied you intended it to be one (for example, Succession Act 2006 (NSW) s 8). A letter that reads like a list of gifts invites an argument about whether you meant it to change your will.

When should you use a letter of wishes?

A letter is most useful where someone will have choices to make after you've gone. Common uses:

• Personal items. If your will leaves your belongings to your children to share, the letter can say who you hope gets the photo albums, the tools or your grandmother's ring.
• Funeral wishes. Burial or cremation, the kind of service, music, readings, or that you'd rather have a party. Funeral wishes generally aren't binding on your executor even if they're in your will (some states do give legal weight to a written objection to cremation), so a letter is a fine place for them.
• Guidance for guardians. How you'd like your children raised: schooling, religion or culture, staying close to grandparents or cousins, and what matters to you about their upbringing. See choosing guardians for your children.
• Guidance for trustees. If your will sets up a testamentary trust or a special disability trust, the trustees usually have wide discretion. A letter can say what you'd like the money used for, such as education, a first home or health costs, and how cautious to be.
• Digital accounts. Which email, social media, photo and cloud accounts you have, and whether you'd like each one closed, kept or memorialised. Record where things are, never the passwords themselves. See crypto and digital assets in your will.
• Pets. Feeding, vet and care details for whoever takes them on.
• Explaining a decision. If you've left someone less than they might expect, a calm explanation can help your family understand. It won't stop a claim on your estate, so if you expect one, a lawyer can help you record your reasons.

What to put in a letter of wishes

• Your full name and the date, and a line saying which will it goes with (for example, "my will dated 1 March 2026").
• A sentence saying the letter isn't part of your will and isn't intended to be legally binding.
• Who it's addressed to: your executors, guardians, trustees, or all of them.
• Your wishes, grouped by topic, in plain language. Short and specific beats long and general.
• The reasons behind any wish where reasons help someone apply it sensibly when circumstances change.
• Your signature at the end.

What not to put in a letter of wishes

• Anything that must be binding. Gifts of money or property, shares of your estate, the appointment of executors or guardians, and conditions on an inheritance all belong in the will.
• Anything that contradicts your will. If the letter says one thing and the will says another, the will wins, and the clash can cause exactly the dispute you were trying to avoid.
• Passwords, PINs and seed phrases. A letter can be read by several people and may be copied. Write down where your keys and accounts are kept, not the keys themselves.
• Hurtful remarks. Your family will read this at a hard time, and it could be seen by others if the estate is ever disputed. Explain, don't settle scores.

Letter of wishes template (simple outline)

Make your will first: the letter only works alongside a valid will. Then copy this outline, keep only the parts you need and replace everything in square brackets. Handwritten or typed is fine.

1. Heading. Letter of wishes of [your full name], dated [date].
2. Opening. To my executors [names] (and the guardians of my children and the trustees of any trust in my will). I have made a will dated [date of will]. This letter is not part of my will and is not intended to be legally binding. I ask you to take it into account.
3. Personal items. I would like [item] to go to [name] because [reason]. I'd like my children to share the rest of my belongings in a way they agree on.
4. Funeral. I would like to be [buried / cremated]. I'd like [a small service / a celebration / no service]. Music or readings: [details]. [I have a prepaid funeral with (provider).]
5. For my children's guardians. What matters most to me about how my children are raised is [values, schooling, culture, family contact].
6. For the trustees. I would like the trust used mainly for [education / health / a first home]. Please be [cautious / generous] about [topic].
7. Online accounts and records. My accounts and important documents are listed in [where you keep the list]. I'd like my social media accounts [closed / memorialised].
8. Pets. [Name] eats [food], sees [vet], and would be happiest with [name].
9. Anything else. [Anything you want the people reading this to know.]
10. Sign-off. Signed [your signature] on [date].

Where should you keep a letter of wishes?

Keep the signed letter with your original will, so whoever finds one finds the other. Tell your executor where both are. Some people give their executor a copy of the letter now, which is fine as long as you're comfortable with them reading it early.

Because a letter of wishes doesn't need witnesses, you can rewrite it whenever you like without changing your will. Date every version and destroy the old ones so there's no confusion about which is current. If your wishes about who inherits change, that needs a new will or a codicil, not a new letter.

Do you need a letter of wishes as well as a will?

You need a will. A letter of wishes is optional, and plenty of people with simple estates don't need one. It earns its place when someone will have real choices to make: guardians, trustees, or an executor dividing personal items.

Willies covers some of this inside the will itself. The questionnaire asks about your funeral wishes and your wishes for your children's guardians, and records them in your will expressly as wishes that don't bind anyone. Your encrypted digital legacy plan records where your accounts, crypto and documents are, and is released to your executor after a death. A letter of wishes can still sit alongside both for anything more personal.